The Trash Collector

I love Thursday morning.  It is a morning when for at least a moment, the house is entirely free of trash.  Thursday is the day our trash collector comes.  There is a sense of happiness and satisfaction that comes with seeing all the trash cans in the house empty.  Last Thursday morning I thought I had missed the garbage man.  It was a moment of dread as I looked at our two recycle bins overflowing with trash and knowing it would be an entire week before I could get rid of it all, meanwhile collecting even more and having nowhere to put it.  It turned out I didn't miss the garbage man, and that day I was feeling a little extra gratitude for the men who come and take my trash away.  I acknowledged that they only do this for me when I take the responsibility of putting it out on the sidewalk for them.  I was grateful for the system.  Each week I get to go through my house, gather up all the things I want thrown out, put it out on the curb and sometime during the day it will magically disappear.  And then it hit me, this is how the Savior works.  He is my own individual trash collector.  Each week my own self gets cluttered inevitably with a lot of trash.  This trash is sins, it is heart ache, pain, sorrow, weariness, anger, and whole lot of other negative, yucky, uncomfortable stuff just sitting inside me.  The Savior will not come in and gather my trash for me to take it away.  I have to take the responsibility to gather it all up myself and put it in front of him.  I can say, "here, I don't want this anymore, it doesn't feel good, so I'm giving it to you."  We don't ask him to take it, we make the choice to give it to him.  And just like that, it can be gone.  Of course each day brings new trash and it is impossible for our trash cans to be empty all the time.  But what is great about our Savior Jesus Christ is that he doesn't come just once a week, we don't ever have to worry about missing him, or thinking it is too late. Never.   He is standing outside constantly waiting for us, always there, ready and willing to take away our trash for us, the moment we are willing to give it to him.  He does this for me.  I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ.  He makes life livable.

Missed Expectations

Before we are married, we all have a picture or expectation of what life will be like for us.  We have hopes, dreams, aspirations, a perception of our future.  I did.  I thought that a marriage relationship was something I had control over.  I can choose my spouse and choose the dynamic of our relationship.  The reality is, there are so many things out of our control.  And so many things we would have never ever expected to happen.  None of us know what we are getting into when we say "yes, I will marry you."  We make covenants to remain with this person through sickness and trial, for time and all eternity without even understanding what that means.  Isn't it interesting that God has designed it that way.  He doesn't say, get married civilly first, try it out for a while, then come to the temple and make eternal covenants.

I think there is wisdom in that.  If we really knew what we were getting into - really knew - we wouldn't do it.  Jumping blindly and naively into the unknown is where the true test lies.  Facing things we never thought ourselves capable of facing, climbing mountains we never imagined we had the power to climb, is where true strength is found and potential discovered.  So, when I am faced with missed expectations or lost hopes and dreams, I want to realize that MY plan never was the plan.  THIS, what is happening right now, this pain, heartache, sorrow, these missed expectations, THIS is the plan.  This is what will bring about a change of heart, this is what will help me discover my potential, this is what will make me strong, patient, compassionate, wise, and humble.  I can run from it, and constantly be running from it, or I can embrace it with humility, gratitude, and constant faith and trust in God to lead me through it.